Agent Tree Reporting - Mission Portugal Complete

Landing and the reception was a success. The Portuguese perceived me as a naive, friendly being, which encouraged them to drop their defences and take over the role of guides and protectors. This trick has worked just as we planned. Being quite a primitive race they enjoyed having someone to show their superiority to.

First of all, alterations from the guide noted. Portuguese do not always use their eyebrows to indicate that the sentence is a question, which I found quite confusing, because when asking something, they were not facing the sun either.
The other inadequacy observed in the guide. It's not 80% by far of those who have mastered the basics of English language and were able to give directions. By the end of the week I could easily approach a representative of The Portuguese and ask for directions in their language while most of them just kept repeating "Não falam Inglês". However, my Captain, you chose right to send your best agent for the mission and neither of these alterations made me fail at the achievement of the final goal.

My list of observations and useful information as follows:

Francezinha appeared to not be the famous french female, so I had to drop the plan of kidnapping her. Must admit it tasted extremely well though.

Good news! The Portuguese tend to eat a lot of this one particular kind of fish! Yes, they are all crazy about the famous Meiva's Fish, however, would not admit it. Instead, they call it Bacalhau, which we all know in Snalian language means Meiva's Fish. Can safely say, it's still by far worse than the original Meiva's Fish, however, it shows their strive for progress, which means that after the invasion is over, they will realise it was for their own good and thank us, my Captain.

Now the strangest and most outrageous thing which left me in a deep shock - the treatment of snails! My Captain, with all due respect to our dear colleagues in the office, I have to sadly report that The Portuguese do not value them for the brilliancy of their intelligence, neither for the accuracy and precision they show at work. Still classified as a primitive race, The Portuguese hunt and eat snails on every occasion that presents itself. Female Portuguese pretend to have some general understanding and care for snails. They try to show it by not looking at their food and swallowing them as quickly as possible, while male Portuguese face their cooked snail meal without any inconvenience and joyfully suck it in!

After all these observations I can only send my hearty condolences to the families of those eaten by The Portuguese. My Captain, as you can see, this invasion is deeply needed. We are going to make this world a better place.

Easy as it was with the younger generation of this race, I have some concerns about the older one. However well I tried to disguise myself (no, my Captain, even the bright yellow cardigan you gave me didn't seem to help to blend in with the crowd), I seemed to raise quite a lot of interest among the Portuguese ancients. My guessing would be they still remember our last invasion 3 centuries ago and act suspicious about everyone trying to be seated for longer than 2 minutes without a company of another living creature. Their immediate approach and unbreakable gaze did give me a lot of creeps. As if they could read my mind their eyes were saying "We know why you're here and what you're planning to do. We know it all". Bearing in mind their age and slower movement speed, I think they will not be an obstacle, however the fact that lips of some of them were already covered in blood raises a slight concern.

To conclude, I would classify Portuguese as very simple and good humoured species as long as it doesn't come to food. They are too much involved in their everyday dramas to care about the world and will be likely to surrender without a greater fight. We should proceed with the plan immediately.

Prepared by Agnet Tree.